I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize