WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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