It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
