i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
where are my eyebrows?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize