We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
