oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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