never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize