I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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