You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
