At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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