I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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