he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
