My ATM looks so different sober.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
