i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
