I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
