so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
