Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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