If i come over, it means nothing
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
