I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
