dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
