Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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