SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
