Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
