It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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