Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
