he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
