Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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