I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
