tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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