we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
