Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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