just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
