Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
