That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
