just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
