they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
