Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
