Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Small penises have feelings too.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
