Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
and she was petting her beer can
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
