Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
