sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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