what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
