You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this will be a night to untag.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
