Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just found puke in my bra..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i out mim tonsoeep
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
