she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
