evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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