I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
