There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
