we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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