Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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