Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
