Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize