Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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