No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
