i just had sex bonerless
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
