If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I believe in your delicious
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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