I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Boobs are out for the taking
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize